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  • Writer's pictureRuck n Roll

Crumb V

The men’s Six Nations has ended with France crowned champions and Grand Slam winners. We’ve poured over the games and analysed the teams to create team reports for the tournament.

But this is Ruck ‘n’ Roll so of course they are all biscuits.

Italy - Party Rings

Are they good? Not really. But they are fun and promise lots. Perfect for the children - see Italy’s toddler aged squad - and a wonderful thill ride. Proving to be better than their reputation suggests and you really can’t help, but like them.

Wales - Viennese Whirls

Hugely disappointing. Far too soft. Not out right bad, but far from being good. Nobody’s favourite for anything. Sure they look good, but they crumble easily. Sometimes they have a decent centre pairing (jam and cream), but too often without it and lack any impact.

Scotland - Dark Chocolate Digestives Thins

So much promise and so little delivery. Scotland are when you are offered a chocolate coated digestive with your drink at a friend’s house… and then it turns out they aren’t the milk chocolate ones. Then to make it even worse, they are the Thins!

England - Florentines

Expensive ingredients and loved by posh people, but ultimately just a bit shit. With the resources available to make them, you could probably make 2 or 3 better things that would be genuine contenders. Instead you have this!

Ireland - Bourbon Creams

Not flashy, but excellent. In all the excitement of fancier biscuits we may have forgotten just how good they are. Solid and stable, but with a bit of X-Factor too. Nobody will admit it, but they might actually be the best biscuits.

France - Fox’s Chocolatey Chocolate Rounds

are elite level. The best. Even more tempting than Italian waffles. They have a solid base from which a glorious satisfaction can be achieved and are built on a strong northern institution. The ruler, the emperor, the king. Now for world domination. Watch out Tim Tams, Romany Creams and whatever they have in New Zealand.

We were hoping to follow this up with a Rugby Europe Championship biscuit review, however an independent judicial committee will convene to examine a potential breach of regulation after Spain were allegedly Jaffa Cakes which are ineligible under biscuit rules. Ruck n Roll will not be making further comment until the conclusion of the investigation.

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