Thursday, November 6, 2014

Why Wales is Better than Australia

It’s almost time for Wales and Australia to kick off in Cardiff in what’s being billed as Welsh rugby’s most important game since the last World Cup. The game is on a knife’s edge with either team having the ability to win or lose the game.
 
Just to alleviate Welsh nerves, here are a few things that we already do better than the Aussies.
 
National Animals
It really is a simple one, what would you rather stare down; 15 marauding, fire breathing dragons or Skippy’s little cousins? There are no age old stories about brave warriors going to battle against fearsome, deadly wallabies.
 
Alcoholic Beverages
The smoothest nectar of Brains against the blue canned kangaroo urine of Foster’s; there can only be one winner and it’s brewed in Cardiff.
 
Heroes
If you're in trouble and need rescuing a clicky-jawed marsupial is not as well equipped to help you as a friendly alien with a jet pack, rocket and the ability to bring a superhero bear with rocket boots to life. Yes he’s a bit bumbling, but he also used to be Doctor Who.
 
Streets
It doesn’t matter whether you call it Chippy Lane or Chip Alley, the famous (if not infamous) Caroline Street is the place to be after an international. To the untrained eye it’s a dirty street of drunk people eating takeaway, but we know we’re just carb loading in preparation of next week’s game. What can Australia offer in return? Ramsey Street? Rumour has it Lou’s Place doesn’t even do cheesy chips.
 
Songs
We’ll never understand why the Australians feel the need to sing Waltzing Matilda at sporting events, we just about understand what the song is about (unless you take Adam Hills’ version). Hymns and Arias meanwhile is about rugby, drinking, playing cards and beating the English; who doesn’t understand that.
 
Dames
Yes, even our dames are better. We’re not saying Dame Edna is bad, not at all. Answer us this though; How many Bond soundtracks has she appeared on? We rest our case.


 
Pint-sized Pop Princesses
“Kylie!” Australians will say in the hope of clawing back a little pride, but everyone knows she’s a Maesteg girl really.
 
So there we have it, a unanimous victory for Wales, lets all hope for the same result on Saturday with a few pints of SA and chips from Dorothy’s.
 
The next four weeks could be vital to boost confidence to all nations ahead of the World Cup next year, but before all that it should be fantastic entertainment and the party is just getting started.
 
Shirley Bassey - Get the Party Started

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