Wednesday, January 4, 2012

R'n'R Rugby Awards 2011 (Part 1)

2012 is upon us and, like World Cup winger against Vincent Clerc, 2011 has been left in our wake.

Only right then we take a look back at a year domianted by a World Cup and hand out some much deserved awards.

Worst Fighter of the Year - There were a number contenders for this one. Chris Ashton made an early claim for the title after his petty push on a grounded Manu Tuilagi led to him catch a Tuilagi haymaker with his face.

He was trumped by Andy Powell, who was left a black and Bluebird, after having the Cardiff Shitty kicked out of him by some QPR fans.

However, the ultimate winner (loser) is former member of the Duffy fan club Mike Phillips. Self proclaimed hardman and mirror botherer Phillips follow up being floored on Cardiff's Mill Lane 3 years ago by being wrestled to the floor by a McDonald's bouncer (and I mean bouncer) who looked as if he had been helping himself to the products.

Chocolate Boy 0 - 1 Chocolate Binger

Tit of the Year - Mike Tindall (and the pair he allegedly wedged his batter face into). To be fair to Tindall, the pictures look seem to back up his claim she kissed his head and Zara said she is an old friend (though the press claim she is Tindall's ex). Tindall's disjointed defence and a veil lies didn't go well for him. If there's one set of "in laws" you don't want to risk upsetting though it's one that has it's own army and secret service. Be wary of tunnels next time you're playing in France Mike.

Twit of the Year - No contest in this one. A man who's own name is almost 140 charcters long, Twitter fiend Eliota Fuimaono-Sapolu. Everyone is allowed a mistake but Eliota really doesn't believe in learning from his. First he compared Samoa's World Cup fixtures to slavery,  Apartheid and the holocaust. Then, he accused of Nigel Owen of racism in an incident that resulted in a 6 month ban suspended for two years. Instead of keeping his Twitter fingers still, the Samoa went on to tweet threats to Owen Farrell after an Arriva Premiership game. Still, we all feel like 6 months work now and again right?

Twat of the Year - As with every year Stuart Barnes and Brian Moore deserve a mention. Chris Ashton's cocky attitude, sexual harassment claims and generally being a prick put him toward the front of the pack. Scott Johnson made a late dash with an unprovoked media attack on Nigel Owen, Cardiff Blues and whatever else he could think of. The winner though, is Manu Tuilagi. He broke IRB laws with his gumshield, then after England limped out of the World Cup to France the Samoan-Englishman jumped from an Auckland harbour ferry. He did win brownie points for that punch on Ashton though.

Brian Blessed Award for being Needlessly Loud of the Year - ITV'S OWN PHIL VICKERY. PHIL OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T REALISE HOW A MICROPHONE WORKS AND DECIDED TO SHOUT HIS COMMENTARY HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD.


Hasty Decision of the Year - Allain Rolland's red card for Captain Fantastic Sam Warburton. I can't bring myself to say any more about it.

King of the Breakdown of the Year - That man Sam Warburton. With cohorts Faletau and Lydiate, Warburton ruled the breakdown in New Zealand firmly putting him among the top opensides in the world.

King of Breaking Down of the Year - Sam Warburton. Twice he failed to reach his destination since returning from New Zealand. On one occasion, Sam saw red again, this time it was his petrol light.

Emotional Farewell of the Year - In year that saw Johnny Wilkinson and Chris Patterson retire form international rugby it was Shane Williams' final game that brought the tears. During the anthems, for his final try and during his final interview with his children in his arms. Well done Shane, you will be missed.

By the Skin of the Teeth of the Year - The Ospreys sank Bennetton Treviso with a last minute penalty to snatch a Playoffs place from the Scarlets grasp.

Nomad of the Year - from London to France and back to Wales Gavin Henson had more new clubs in 2011 than Tiger Woods. Add Wales caps and BaaBaas games it must be hard for Gav to keep up with who his team mates are. Still it's better than Strictly, The Batchelor and those God awful bingo ads.


Inept TV channel of the Year - For their World Cup coverage, ITV. No personality, terrible commentary, misfiring technology and, worst of all, Lawerence Dallalgio.

So, that's part one of The R'n'R Rugby Awards 2011. Feel free to debate them below or on Twitter (@GravProsser) or suggest your own. Part two will be here tomorrow.

If you anything you want to ask me or an blog post you would like to see then email me at rnrrugby @ gmail.com.


Cymru am byth!

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