Thursday, January 5, 2012

R'n'R Rugby Awards 2011 (Part 2)

Yesterday we had part one of the The R'n'R Rugby Awards 2011. We've grabbed a pint and been to the toilet so today we commence with the second half.

Jekyll and Hyde of Year - Australian outside half Quade Cooper. One minute it's like Phil Bennett the next it's "Gordon bleedin' Bennett". Cooper has the consistency of a Cup-a-Soup (Other mug contained food stuffs are available).

Star of the RWC - Forget Ritchie McCaw, David Pocock, Sam Warburton, George North or Richard Kahui. The stand out individual of RWC 2011 was Jonathan's roving reporter Rhian 'Madam Rygbi' Davies, "FACT!". Cheeky, witty and funny, 'Madam Rygbi' could have made the 2007 campaign seem joyous. Everyone would love to share a pint with "The Scream Machine" on a matchday, just keep your hands off Jamie Roberts *Silent scream*.




Who said Women Know Nothing About Rugby of the Year  - Anyone who thinks women have no place in rugby needs to read Carolyn Hitt's articles. Often funny, always informative and intelligent the build up to Wales international matches just isn't the same with out them.

Lord Lucan Award for Mysteriously Going Missing - Welsh regional rugby fans. A record 82,000 fans turned up to watch an Aviva Premiership game at Twickenham. 4 men, 3 sheep and a dog turned up to Rabo Pro Direct 12 games.

Switcheroo of the Year - That ball at Wales-Ireland that a ball boy gave to Matthew Rees who promptly gave it to Mike Phillips who, checked his hair was ok and scuttled over for a winning try that should never have been.

Rugby Programme of the Year - Not a hell of a lot to choose from The School of Hard Knocks is an excellent programme and the best of Sky's rugby output so far. The BBC's coverage of the 6 Nations is always of the highest quality. The winner though is S4C's Jonathan. Manic, genuinely funny and worth watching with subtitles on if you don't speak Welsh.


Bugger Me It's Cold Inside of Year - The Wales team undergoing cryotherapy in Poland. The chambers reached termperatures as low as -140c. That's even colder than Kelly Brooke's feeling toward Dan Cipriani.

Lazarus Award for Comebacks - Leinster's Heineken final against Northampton was a strong contender but Harlequins' comeback from the bloodgate scandal to lead the Premiership is to be commended more than any other.

Shambles of the Year - The RFU could easily have taken this award but it would take a whole new post to explain why. Instead, the recipient of this award is scrums. Never has the word shambles been more fitting to a sporting set piece. Some refs look bemused, the players don't look much better and fans are getting frustrated. The scrums are going down quicker than Katie Price at a football player's house. Something needs to be done soon.

And finally...Warrior of the Year - Richard Parks. Seven months to climb the highest peak in all seven continents and the three poles (Everest is the 3rd). "The 737  Challenge" saw him fight on through frost bite, fallen ice shelves, avelanches and a a few dangerous scrapes to complete the challenge in less than half the time anyone else in history to raise money for Marie Curie.


So, there we have it. The R'n'R Rugby Awards 2011. Feel free to debate them below or on Twitter (@GravProsser). Or suggest your own.

If you anything you want to ask me or an blog post you would like to see then email me at rnrrugby @ gmail.com.


Cymru am byth!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

R'n'R Rugby Awards 2011 (Part 1)

2012 is upon us and, like World Cup winger against Vincent Clerc, 2011 has been left in our wake.

Only right then we take a look back at a year domianted by a World Cup and hand out some much deserved awards.

Worst Fighter of the Year - There were a number contenders for this one. Chris Ashton made an early claim for the title after his petty push on a grounded Manu Tuilagi led to him catch a Tuilagi haymaker with his face.

He was trumped by Andy Powell, who was left a black and Bluebird, after having the Cardiff Shitty kicked out of him by some QPR fans.

However, the ultimate winner (loser) is former member of the Duffy fan club Mike Phillips. Self proclaimed hardman and mirror botherer Phillips follow up being floored on Cardiff's Mill Lane 3 years ago by being wrestled to the floor by a McDonald's bouncer (and I mean bouncer) who looked as if he had been helping himself to the products.

Chocolate Boy 0 - 1 Chocolate Binger

Tit of the Year - Mike Tindall (and the pair he allegedly wedged his batter face into). To be fair to Tindall, the pictures look seem to back up his claim she kissed his head and Zara said she is an old friend (though the press claim she is Tindall's ex). Tindall's disjointed defence and a veil lies didn't go well for him. If there's one set of "in laws" you don't want to risk upsetting though it's one that has it's own army and secret service. Be wary of tunnels next time you're playing in France Mike.

Twit of the Year - No contest in this one. A man who's own name is almost 140 charcters long, Twitter fiend Eliota Fuimaono-Sapolu. Everyone is allowed a mistake but Eliota really doesn't believe in learning from his. First he compared Samoa's World Cup fixtures to slavery,  Apartheid and the holocaust. Then, he accused of Nigel Owen of racism in an incident that resulted in a 6 month ban suspended for two years. Instead of keeping his Twitter fingers still, the Samoa went on to tweet threats to Owen Farrell after an Arriva Premiership game. Still, we all feel like 6 months work now and again right?

Twat of the Year - As with every year Stuart Barnes and Brian Moore deserve a mention. Chris Ashton's cocky attitude, sexual harassment claims and generally being a prick put him toward the front of the pack. Scott Johnson made a late dash with an unprovoked media attack on Nigel Owen, Cardiff Blues and whatever else he could think of. The winner though, is Manu Tuilagi. He broke IRB laws with his gumshield, then after England limped out of the World Cup to France the Samoan-Englishman jumped from an Auckland harbour ferry. He did win brownie points for that punch on Ashton though.

Brian Blessed Award for being Needlessly Loud of the Year - ITV'S OWN PHIL VICKERY. PHIL OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T REALISE HOW A MICROPHONE WORKS AND DECIDED TO SHOUT HIS COMMENTARY HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD.


Hasty Decision of the Year - Allain Rolland's red card for Captain Fantastic Sam Warburton. I can't bring myself to say any more about it.

King of the Breakdown of the Year - That man Sam Warburton. With cohorts Faletau and Lydiate, Warburton ruled the breakdown in New Zealand firmly putting him among the top opensides in the world.

King of Breaking Down of the Year - Sam Warburton. Twice he failed to reach his destination since returning from New Zealand. On one occasion, Sam saw red again, this time it was his petrol light.

Emotional Farewell of the Year - In year that saw Johnny Wilkinson and Chris Patterson retire form international rugby it was Shane Williams' final game that brought the tears. During the anthems, for his final try and during his final interview with his children in his arms. Well done Shane, you will be missed.

By the Skin of the Teeth of the Year - The Ospreys sank Bennetton Treviso with a last minute penalty to snatch a Playoffs place from the Scarlets grasp.

Nomad of the Year - from London to France and back to Wales Gavin Henson had more new clubs in 2011 than Tiger Woods. Add Wales caps and BaaBaas games it must be hard for Gav to keep up with who his team mates are. Still it's better than Strictly, The Batchelor and those God awful bingo ads.


Inept TV channel of the Year - For their World Cup coverage, ITV. No personality, terrible commentary, misfiring technology and, worst of all, Lawerence Dallalgio.

So, that's part one of The R'n'R Rugby Awards 2011. Feel free to debate them below or on Twitter (@GravProsser) or suggest your own. Part two will be here tomorrow.

If you anything you want to ask me or an blog post you would like to see then email me at rnrrugby @ gmail.com.


Cymru am byth!