Monday, October 24, 2011

Goodbye Edwards

This weekend not only brings down the curtain on an excellent Rugby World Cup but also brings an end to Shaun Edwards contract as Wales coach.

Ruck 'n' Roll can exclusive reveal Edwards will not be extending his contract with Wales as he is taking up a role in government.

Honorary Welshman Edwards will be filling the role of Defence Secretary vacated by Liam Fox.

"He has an excellent record as far as defence is concerned," said one Tory backbencher, "it was an obvious decision."

Early indicators suggest Edwards wil scrap the much maligned Trident, instead opting for a much more effective and more mobile defence system of Lydiate, Warburton and Faletau. It's a defence that is believed to be impenetrable.

Anti aircraft vehicles will also be done away with, Edwards instead employing Luke Charteris to reach up and swat any offending aircraft from the sky.

Edwards also plans to use an unusual strategy against any tanks that may threaten the nation. In a bold move, the new Defence Secretary will use Adam Jones, Gethin Jenkins and Huw Bennett to simply push them back where they came from.

One current Wales player is also showing interest in a new role. Andy Powell is hoping to join Edwards in his position. "Hopefully, Shaun will employ me armoury," said Powell flexing his biceps, "Everyone knows I've got the biggest guns you'll ever see."

The Tories seem very happy in their appointment. A Conservative party spokesperson said, "Mr Edwards is the perfect choice for this role. He may have to go to some pretty rough places, but we know that won't bother him, he used to live in Wigan. He will save us money and improve our defence. Not that it would matter. Would you go to war against him? Not even Kim Jong Il is that crazy."

Mr Edwards did air one concern however. "Even with our budget and technology we haven't be able to find a way to stop George North," he said, "thank God he's on our side."

Cymru am byth!

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